


It's Just I'm Constantly On The Cusp

by TheSaintRyan



Category: Doug (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged up characters, Doug is not very observant, Enemies to Friends, Eventual Romance, M/M, Slow Burn, almost canon compliant, season one AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 06:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaintRyan/pseuds/TheSaintRyan
Summary: Doug doesn't know what to say, hadn't expected any answer, much less that one. "You don't make any sense," Doug says, and Roger just shrugs again, bumping Doug's arm with his elbow.





	It's Just I'm Constantly On The Cusp

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been watching Doug lately. It's one of the greatest shows of all time. I watched the episode 'Doug Rocks' and started thinking about what ifs. What if Doug went to the concert with Roger? What if Roger was nicer to Doug following the camping trip in 'Doug Takes A Hike'? What if Roger Klotz just has a huge gay crush on Doug Funnie? And then, I don't know. This is how I spent my Valentine's Day.
> 
> This story presents What If versions of the season one episodes 'Doug Takes A Hike', 'Doug Rocks', 'Doug's Runaway Journal', and 'Doug's Fair Lady', or otherwise generally covers most of season one.
> 
> ALSO: I fudged with the character's ages a bit. This is basically written as if they are in high school, so Doug is 15 or so and Roger is about 17, and just as in canon they are in the same grade.

"Hey, come on Funnie. Lighten up," Roger says, as he walks Doug towards the tent he'd set up hours ago. The sun had dipped down, and the woods were dark around the illumination of their flashlights. "It's not all that bad, you know," he continues and Doug groans. He's still unsure why his life is like this, why he got paired up with Roger Klotz of all people, but he doesn't have the heart to argue.

"Now we're gonna have to get up pretty early if we wanna earn those badges tomorrow, so we should crash out soon," Roger says once they're in the tent, but he makes no move to lay down and just sits awkwardly on his sleeping bag, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "You ever been camping before, Funnie?" he asks and Doug shrugs. He doesn't want to talk, but he mumbles an affirmative anyway.

Roger rolls his eyes, and pulls his shirt up over his head. Doug rolls over on his sleeping bag, looking away. He hasn't settled in at all, and while he watches Porkchop turn around a few times and lay down he's jealous of how quickly his dog can fall asleep. He glances over his shoulder, expecting Roger to be asleep, but the older boy is laying on his side and looking at Doug. Like he's not sure what to do, like he wants to say something, like Doug is something strange and confusing. Roger sighs loudly, and Doug rolls onto his back. "What is it, Roger?" Doug asks. Roger doesn't answer for a while, but Doug won't look over at him anymore.

"Nothing," Roger says, and finally rolls over to fall asleep. Eventually, after hours of listening to the heavy silence around Roger's snoring and Porkchop's sleeping breaths, Doug falls asleep too.

*

They're a mile into a hike when Doug bends over, hands on his knees, and says, "I think we should take a break." Roger looks back, annoyed, but doesn't say anything. He stripped off his signature jacket a while ago, and he drapes it over a log before sitting down. Doug looks at the log suspiciously, and Roger rolls his eyes before shifting over to make room. They're so close that Doug feels the heat radiating off of him, feels Roger's elbow bump his arm when he leans back and stretches.

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a water bottle, taking a few sips and then holding it toward Roger tentatively. Maybe, maybe if Doug is nice enough Roger will stop bullying him; after all, he hasn't been too bad so far on the trip even if he did make Doug do all the work setting up camp. Roger eyes the water wearily before reaching out slowly. He takes a few sips and then hands it back, mumbling a quiet thanks that Doug just shrugs in response to. He almost feels more awkward like this, as this tentative friendship develops it's like he doesn't know how to act around Roger any more.

At the far end of their hike they stumble on a lake, and Roger gives Doug a look before stripping to his underwear and jumping right in. Doug's face heats up, as he glances away and busies himself with untying his shoes. He isn't planning on going in, but it's hot, and Roger laughs and says, "come on, Funnie. The water's great!" so he pulls his shirt over his head and lets his shorts drop to the sand. His cheeks are still red as he steps into the cool water, and he's reconsidering when a sudden splash of water hits his face. He looks up after brushing the water out of his eyes, and Roger is floating on his back, a teasing smile across his face. Doug runs toward Roger, who laughs and dives underwater to avoid the water Doug sends flying toward him. Seconds later he feels hands wrap around his ankles and tug him down into the water, chilling him quickly and startling a gasp from him. He comes up laughing, his voice joining Roger's as they swim and float and splash each other. Maybe Roger's right, Doug thinks, maybe it really isn't so bad.

*

The last night of the trip, Doug wakes up suddenly and watches Roger climb out of the tent. He can tell Roger was trying to be quiet about it, and he wants to just ignore it and go back to sleep, but he lays there for a while with no luck. He sighs, pulling his shirt back on and his jacket around him, and follows the bouncing light of Roger's flashlight as he walks into the woods.

When he catches up, Roger is sitting on a log with his head in his hands. He doesn't say anything, neither of them do, as Doug sits down next to him much like he had a couple days earlier. Roger looks over, but Doug doesn't see it. He follows his eyes up past the canopy of leaves, where the stars are vibrant in the dark. "Why are you always so mean to me, Roger? I mean, other than the last few days," Doug asks. Roger shrugs, and things are quiet between them once again.

"I dunno. I'm like this with everyone, ain't I?" Roger replies eventually and Doug shakes his head. "Maybe you just take me too seriously, no one else does. No one else pays any attention to what I have to say."

Doug doesn't know what to say, hadn't expected any answer, much less that one. "You don't make any sense," Doug says, and Roger just shrugs again, bumping Doug's arm with his elbow.

* * *

"Seriously, Doug. You should just go with Roger. At least one of us can see The Beets," Skeeter says, before sighing and laying back on his bed. It wasn't fair, Skeet getting grounded just before the concert, but Doug was starting to learn that things were rarely fair outside of his imagination. He doesn't want to go, not without Skeeter and especially not with Roger, but his friend waves him away and doesn't say anything else so he heads downstairs and walks to catch up.

"Decided to come after all, eh Funnie?" Roger asks and Doug doesn't answer. "Well you made the right choice. It stinks that your friend can't go, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a good time. And this concert is gonna rock." Doug's down, feels morose, and if Roger notices he doesn't say anything. The walk is long, but they still get there early, and Roger slings an arm over Doug's shoulders as they walk to their seats. Roger has a toothpick held between his teeth, and every so often he chews on it absently as they wait for the opening act to finish and The Beets to take the stage.

"They're pretty good," Doug says, and Roger nods, leaning closer to hear him over the music. He still feels weird about everything, about this weird ground he's on with Roger where they aren't really friends, but they aren't necessarily enemies any more either. It's thrown him off balance, and the older boy has taken on more of a starring role in Doug's journal ever since the camping trip with the Bluff Scouts. Roger doesn't lean back over, stays crowded into Doug's space, but he doesn't really mind. He hadn't noticed before, in Skeeter's house, but it smells like Roger is wearing cologne, and his hair is brushed more neatly than normal, and his white shirt doesn't even have any stains on it. He gets the feeling like all of this means something, but he isn't sure what, and then The Beets come out and he startles out of his thoughts and he forgets all about it.

*

"That was amazing!" he shouts as he and Roger walk home after the show. Roger is smiling, a rare sight, and Doug realizes that until the camping trip he hadn't ever seen Roger smile other than when he was pretending to be good around parents. He thinks about how thoughtful and polite Roger had been around Skeet's parents, and he thinks about the easy grin on Roger's face in the lake, and he shivers in the cool night. Roger glances over, shrugging out of his leather jacket and holding it out to Doug wordlessly. Doug doesn't do anything, so Roger drapes it over his shoulders and keeps walking, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans and his shirt fluttering in the breeze. The leather smells even more like cologne, and it's warmer than Doug expected.

They stop at the Honker Burger, Doug glad to see Skeeter sitting at their regular table. He heads straight over, forgetting all about Roger, until Skeeter looks up and grins. "Wow Doug, cool jacket!" he says, and Doug pauses. He'd forgotten he still had Roger's jacket, and he looks around. He's standing over by the door, hands still in his pockets, and Doug waves him over before he sits down across from Skeet.

Roger squeezes in next to Doug, cramped in the small booth, and when Doug goes to hand him back the jacket Roger just stares at him. They order food and Roger pays for the three of them, and the two of them regale Skeeter with the tale of (and some renditions of) The Beets' performance. An hour later they're all out in the parking lot, singing Killer Tofu, lost in laughter. "Well boys, it's been fun. I'd better get home though," Roger says, standing up from the curb they'd been sitting on. He leaves, and Doug makes it almost home before he realizes he's still wearing the leather jacket.

He puts his hands in the pockets, after him and Skeeter part ways, and he finds a slip of paper folded up small.

'The Beets were great. Thanks for the fun night, Funnie. Glad you came.' it says, in Roger's messy writing.

*

A few nights later Doug finds himself standing outside of the trailer park, staring down the path but not walking any further. He's stood there for a while, maybe twenty minutes, before he finally gathers his courage and walks towards the Klotz' trailer. He knocks on the door and waits, pulling the jacket tighter around himself. Roger's mom answers, Stinky running out the door when she opens it, and her smile is bright and warm. "Hi there, you a friend of Roger's?" Doug smiles, unsure whether to say yes or no, and before he says anything Roger's mom breezes past him with a shout over her shoulder, "Roger, some nice young man is here for you!" and heads off in her car.

Doug waits a few moments on the porch before Roger walks out, yawning widely in pajama pants. He stops dead when he sees Doug, seems to doubt himself, and says, "what a surprise. Didn't expect to see you, Funnie." Dough shrugs, steps into the trailer and shuts the door behind him. He slips off the jacket, holds it out like a peace offering. "Oh right, I almost forgot about that," Roger says, grabbing it and draping it over his bare shoulders. His hands drift into the pockets; Doug could swear he sees Roger feel around in the left one for the note, and Roger visibly relaxes. "Well, since you're here, wanna hang out or somethin'?" he says.

"Sure," Doug says. Something about the way Roger says 'hang out, or something' sticks in Doug's brain. He's nervous, and he tries not to think about why. Roger's room is small, sparse. His bed is a mess like he'd been in it when Doug arrived, and he flips on a small TV before sitting roughly against his headboard. Doug crosses the room, but lingers next to the bed for a moment. Roger gives him a look, pats the bed next to him where he's left room, and goes back to flipping through channels.

They stumble across some marathon of old horror movies, and Roger is howling with laughter while him and Doug make fun of the terrible effects. "Look at him," Roger says, pointing to the monster on screen, "you can see the zipper on his costume!" He laughs too, and Roger says, "I bet we could make a better movie than this, Doug." It takes a moment, but when he realizes that Roger called him by name he turns to face the older boy. He's still shirtless under his jacket. His pajamas look soft and warm. The bed's comfortable, but when Roger turns to look at him, the look in his eye makes a chill run through Doug. He's never seen that look before, isn't sure what it means.

"What's wrong?" Roger says, but Doug shakes it off. He shrugs, turns back to the movie, but Doug can tell that it changed something. Like Roger has shifted slightly away, and they aren't laughing as much, and suddenly it strikes him how weird it is that he's spending time with Roger by choice. Weirder still, he's enjoying himself. "You, uh, hungry or anything Funnie?" Roger asks and Doug's growling stomach answers for him. He hadn't meant to stay, so he'd left right before dinner. He nods, and Roger leaves the room. Doug can hear him ordering a pizza over the phone, and while he's gone he takes some more time to look around the room. There's some posters on the wall, a couple of The Beets and one torn out of a magazine that makes Doug blush and look away.

Roger comes back, pauses to pull on a shirt before sitting back on the bed with Doug. There's a lot happening here, there are a lot of things being said and more going unsaid and he doesn't understand any of it. It makes him nervous. One movie ends and another starts up before Doug says anything. "Why are you being so nice to me now?" he asks and Roger scoffs.

"What is it with you, Funnie? First I'm too mean, then I'm too nice. You're giving me some mixed signals, y'know," Roger says. Doug's quiet, unsure of himself. He wants to leave just as much as he wants to stay. "Besides," he continues, "it's not like I've never been nice to you before."

He isn't wrong, and Doug tells him as much. "I didn't say you were being _too_ nice," he clarifies and Roger rolls his eyes. He seems content to leave it there, but before he can reconsider Doug says, "and I'm glad I went to the concert with you, too. It really was a fun night." He doesn't know why he says it, he had planned on not saying anything about the note, but it seemed important to let Roger know that he read it. Roger looks over at him, ignoring the movie, and Doug can feel something in the air. They're close enough that Doug can smell his shampoo and traces of cologne like he'd put it on this morning. Their arms are resting together. Something is happening, Doug knows this, but what or why he can't say. Roger opens his mouth, like he's going to say something, but a knock on the door interrupts it and the moment passes like a breeze. Doug realizes he's leaning forward when Roger glances down at his lips and he can see each one of the older boy's eyelashes fanned against his cheek. He feels his face heat up as Roger clears his throat and slides back, leaves the room.

* * *

Doug's been looking for his journal all day, and his panic bubbles over when he finds out that Roger is the one who found it. Even in this strange truce they'd forged lately, he can't break past the feeling that at any time the rug will get pulled out from under him and Roger will reveal this has all been some kind of joke or something. His stomach feels heavy, and his hands are sweating. He hasn't seen Roger around much since the night he returned his jacket and he finds he can't stop thinking about it. He wonders what Roger would have said if the pizza hadn't shown up when it did. He wonders why it matters.

He's shaking as he walks into the Honker Burger to meet Roger. He doesn't see him at first, but no one is laughing at him so that's a plus. When he finally spots him, at the back of the restaurant, Roger catches his eye and waves. Doug gulps as he walks over. "I uh, saw your flyer," Roger says. His voice is flat, and it doesn't set Doug further on edge but it doesn't make him feel better either.

"Guess you found my journal," he says.

"Guess I did."

"Guess you know all my secrets now," he says.

"Guess maybe I do."

"Guess you're gonna embarrass me and tell everyone then," he says.

Roger looks shocked. Like Doug's just reached out and slapped him. The easy grin slides off his face. Doug immediately regrets all of this, this whole conversation; everything he thinks he knows about Roger drains from him immediately like his face drains of blood and he goes pale.

"Do you really think I'd do that?" he asks and Doug goes to answer but he doesn't get the chance. "You still think I'm that guy?" Roger stands suddenly, handing him the book roughly. "For your information, Funnie, I didn't even read the damn thing. Your penmanship is awful." He turns heel and leaves. Doug stands there by the table, holding his journal, his thoughts whirling around him, his thoughts a storm. He feels like he's made a grave mistake.

*

Doug doesn't see Roger at all outside of class for a week. He's sitting in his room with Skeeter, and his friend pauses in the middle of his story to say, "are you okay Doug?" His attention startles up and he shrugs. He isn't sure what's wrong, and he says as much. "Does it have anything to do with Roger?" he asks and Doug looks at him surprised. "I mean, you two were hanging out a bit, the concert and stuff..." he supplies and something about the way Skeeter says 'and stuff' reminds him of the way Roger had said 'or something'. He feels like something is being insinuated, like everyone around him knows more than he does. He realizes he hasn't said anything and Skeeter is still waiting.

"I guess. I was kind of a jerk. Which is weird, when it's Roger. I just thought... I knew that he hated me and was a jerk, and then he stopped doing that and I didn't know what I knew any more. So when he found my journal I thought he would take the opportunity to be a jerk again."

Saying it all out loud makes Doug realize how Roger must feel. It makes him think about talking to him in the middle of the woods, how he'd said, 'No one else pays any attention to what I have to say.' Something was starting to make sense, to become clear, but not clear enough. He couldn't put his finger on it yet.

"Well, do you feel bad?" Skeeter asks, and Doug nods. "And do you want to be his friend or whatever?" he asks, and Doug nods. "Then you'd better go apologize for being a jerk," he says, and Doug nods a final time. He jumps up and pulls his friend into a hug, says, "thanks, Skeet! I'll call you later!" and leaves his friend standing in his room, shaking his head like he can't believe how Doug has even made it this far without him.

*

This time, he walks confidently up to the Klotz' trailer. He wishes he'd brought a better jacket, wishes he still had Roger's leather jacket, while he stands in the rain. He knocks, and at first no one answers. His mom's car is gone, but there's a light on inside and he can hear someone shifting the blinds and then walking towards the door. Still, it's a while before the door pulls open and Roger's standing there in front of him. "Can I come in?" Doug asks and Roger doesn't move, just raises an eyebrow unimpressed.

"I mean, I'm sorry. And I want to apologize, only it's kind of cold and wet and..." he trails off as Roger stares him down, but then he steps aside and gestures in. Doug follows, feeling bad for dripping on the carpet, but he doesn't want to waste any time and he wants to get this right. "I'm sorry for ever thinking you're a jerk. I'm sorry for not realizing who you really are, and I'm sorry for thinking you would be a jerk even after all of this. I'm wrong, I was wrong. I really like you, Roger, and I don't want you to hate me."

No one says anything after that for a long while, but Roger looks significantly less upset than when he'd arrived. "I don't hate you, Funnie," he says finally. Doug grins, leans forward and grabs Roger into a tight hug. He's awkward, stiff about it, but eventually he raises his arms and wraps them around Doug too. "Come on now, get off me," he says and Doug backs up, a blush across his cheeks, and rubs one of his arms uncomfortably.

"Right, sorry about that. Won't happen again," Doug says and Roger shrugs. He asks if Doug wants to stick around, but it's late and Doug thinks he's embarrassed himself enough for one life time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Roger," he says on his way out the door.

Roger stops him by clearing his throat. "And Funnie," he says quietly. Doug turns where he is, just outside the door. "I didn't say it couldn't happen again." Doug leaves, and even though he isn't sure what that means he can't get the grin off of his face.

* * *

"Hey Doug, you going to the fair tomorrow?" Skeeter asks after school on Friday. He shrugs, toeing the ground with his sneaker, eyeing the fading signature of Sky Davis. He wanted to go with Patti, but he still hadn't worked up the nerve to ask her. "I was gonna go with Beebe," Skeeter says, "maybe we could all go together as a group and then it won't be so awkward!" He may be right, but Doug still isn't sure. "Look, man, if you don't go with her she's gonna go with somebody. Maybe even Roger."

Roger? Doug can't help but picture it; Roger and Patti holding hands, him winning her a teddy bear, them cuddled up on the Ferris wheel. He hates it. "Yeah I guess. Let's do it," he says and Skeeter pumps his fist in victory.

"All right, Doug! I'll tell Beebe to ask Patti," he says as he walks off to find her. Doug still feels weird about the whole thing, but less so if they're going to be in a group. He walks toward the door in a daze, in a dream, and almost runs straight into Roger on his way out the door.

"Hey Funnie. I've been waitin for you," he says and Doug smiles. As he walks, Roger falls in step. His arm rests across Doug's shoulders and he's smiling. "I was thinkin about going to the fair tomorrow, maybe. What do you say we make a day of it?" Doug stops, remembering the plans he'd made with Skeeter and... Patti. Roger stops too, drops his arm and looks confused.

"I'd love to Roger, only I already told Skeeter I'd go with him and Beebe and Patti. Maybe you could come with us? We're going as a group so..." he trails off, and after looking at him expectantly Roger shrugs and seems to move on. They keep walking, but he doesn't throw his arm around Doug again and he falls a step or two behind.

"Uh, yeah. Maybe. Maybe I'll see you there," he says, before splitting off toward the trailer park. Doug feels like he's missing something, a feeling which is only becoming more common these days.

*

The fair is bright and loud and crowded. They've been here all afternoon but he hasn't seen Roger anywhere. He's having fun, of course, but he can't shake the thought of it. They're sitting at a table, eating curly fries, and the sun just finished setting so the lights all flicker on at once. It becomes impossibly more magic, and Doug sighs at the site of it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it Doug?" Patti asks, startling his attention away from the distant ring of light that is the Ferris wheel against the dark skyline. The strings of lights around them cast a golden light across her skin. "It sure is," he says, sighing. She grins.

He's just won her a little teddy bear when he catches sight of olive skin and an orange mohawk on the other side of the row of games. He waves, and Patti turns away from the bear to follow his gaze. "Oh hey Roger!" she shouts, waving, "look what Doug just won me!" She grins and laughs, overjoyed, but Roger's arm falls limply at his side. His smile doesn't wane, but it slips from his eyes. "Come hang out with us," she says and he shrugs, disappears from view only to show up a minute later behind Doug all of a sudden.

"How's it going, Roger?" Doug asks and Roger's eyes don't leave Patti as he says something about the fair being boring. Patti sees Beebe and Skeeter and runs off to show her the stuffed toy with a wave over her shoulder. "We'll catch up with you!" Doug shouts after her.

It becomes quiet, him and Roger walking in silence aimlessly around the Fair. "You having a good time with Mayonnaise?" he asks and Doug nods. "I woulda found you earlier but I was busy," he says. Doug doesn't know what to say, though he doesn't believe that for a second.

"There's something going on with you, Roger," Doug says and the older boy sputters, moves to deny it. "I thought you wanted to come to the fair with me, so why didn't you just come with us? Patti likes you fine, Skeeter likes everyone, and we're friends."

Roger laughs, points out that he hadn't even tried to pretend Beebe didn't hate him. "Still," Doug says, "it doesn't matter what she thinks. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, we know who you are. We like you." He gets quiet again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"Remember when you told me I didn't make any sense?" Roger asks and Doug nods. The camping trip. "Well you don't make sense either, Funnie. Every time I think I got you figured out..." he trails off, and they walk around some more. They're playing some game, shooting water into clown's mouths, and Doug is winning until Roger turns and shoots him with the water instead. He doesn't win either, is too busy laughing while Doug sputters, and they watch some young boy claim his prize.

Roger smells like cologne again. The fair smells like cotton candy and corndogs and popcorn. The crowd bustles around them, bumps them against each other, and in the darkness Doug feels Roger take his hand loosely and guide him out of the people. He doesn't let go of his hand right away, not until they're over on the far side of the Ferris wheel, alone.

"Listen, Doug. I've had a real swell time, but don't you want to get back to your friends?" Roger asks.

"Our friends, you mean." Doug says.

"Yeah, yeah. Right. I just mean, you came here with them and I kinda stole you away. Don't you wanna get back to Patti?"

"If I wanted to go find them I would, but I'd rather if you came with me. Besides, we were all supposed to meet at the Ferris wheel anyway so they're probably around here."

Roger gives him a long and searching look, and then shrugs and says okay. They walk around the huge machine back towards the crowds of people and see a huge line, Skeeter waving from somewhere near the middle.

"Doug! Over here, man!" Skeeter yells. Doug grabs Roger's elbow and drags him over toward the group. Patti notices, smiles and waves. Beebe looks annoyed, but Doug doesn't care about any of that.

They walk over, Skeeter asking where they've been and Doug explaining that they'd just looked around at everything. Roger goes quiet, stands just a bit further away from Doug, and he thinks about saying something when some guy taps him on the shoulder. "No cutting," he says like it should be obvious. Doug opens his mouth to explain when he turns around and sees the guy. He must be a senior; he's tall and muscular and Doug steps back away.

"Sorry-" he starts, but the dude pushes past him as the line moves forward. He feels a hand on his shoulder, looks and it's Roger - staring down the senior and shifting Doug back behind him a bit.

"Hey, you big gorilla. Keep your damn hands to yourself," he says and the senior turns around like he's ready to kill them both. "He was apologizing, no need to push him like that."

"Sorry, Klotz. Did I hurt your boyfriend?" the guy teases and a flush rises on Roger's face. It's rage, not a blush, and Doug can tell the difference. He can feel a fight brewing and he hates the feeling, like static electricity in the air.

"Come on, Roger," he says while pulling on his jacket. It's like he can't hear him at first, but then Roger turns to look and the fight leaves him at once. This is exactly when the senior decides to throw a punch, and he clocks Roger in the face. To his credit, he barely stumbles back and Doug seizes the opportunity to drag his friend away before he can react. "Forget him, are you alright?" he asks as he looks back and sees the dazed look in Roger's eye, the way he's staring at Doug like he's never seen him before, the staff approaching the senior and yelling at him as Patti explains what happened.

Roger doesn't answer him until he stops and digs in his heels. Doug tries to keep walking but Roger plants himself right at the end of the long line. "I'm alright. I know you wanted to ride the Ferris wheel with Patti but... you shouldn't have to miss out because of some jerk." He turns, facing the front of the line and raises a shoulder in question like an invitation. Doug takes it, standing next to him and bumping their shoulders together lightly. He smiles, they both smile, the whole way through the long line.

*

By the time they get to the front it's almost the end of the fair. Skeeter and the girls went home an hour ago, but Doug's hardly noticed. They're talking, chatting about wanting to see The Beets again (with Skeeter) and what they could do over the summer. Doug keeps trying to interrupt to ask about the ugly bruise forming around Roger's eye, but he won't give him the chance. They climb into the seat as it comes around, and Roger puts his arm up across the back of the seat and rests his thumb against Doug's shoulder. It makes him shiver, and then the wheel starts up and they rise up through the air.

"I'm glad I got to know you," Doug says and Roger looks at him. "I mean, I knew you before but I'm glad I've gotten to know this side of you," he explains. Roger nods, smiles. Suddenly, Doug thinks about something. He thinks about a lot of things, actually. Lots of tiny little things like a splash of water or an easy grin, big things like reaching out and grabbing someone's hand, normal everyday things like laughing at a joke. He leans closer, against the chill.

The wheel stops with them up at the top, looking across the city. "Remember when I said you were giving me mixed signals?" Roger asks and Doug laughs. He looks away from the lights of the city and towards Roger; towards this boy who went from foe to friend. He thinks about all those things, all of the little moments leading up to this, and he leans in and presses his lips against Roger's. He moves his arm to Doug's shoulder, pulls him closer. When Doug pulls away Roger is grinning. "Finally figured out I was sweet on you, Funnie?" he says. "You know, for someone who thinks as much as you do, you sure don't notice a lot of what's right in front of you."

Maybe not, he thinks, but when he's watching the grin slide into place on Roger's face and the slight blush tint his skin, when he recognizes the cologne clinging to his leather jacket and strongest right on his neck, when he can see every eyelash fan across his cheeks, maybe he notices more than even he realizes.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Arctic Monkeys Do I Wanna Know, "it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you".
> 
> I hope you enjoy this cute little romance that settled in my head and I wrote in one Valentine's Day.


End file.
